SHORT ANSWER 101: F: "um, poison?" groundbreaking stuff, genius. your body's here, but your brain's checked out on summer vacation.
LISTENING SKILLS: F.i know it's hard to hear me over how beautiful my tits are and how fat my ass is, but listen up. god gave you two ears and one mouth for a reason. one should stay shut unless you're using it to make someone else scream. the other two? keep 'em open.
SIMPERY (HEROICS & HORNINESS): C+. point deduction for skipping out on simp soup duty & trying to croak first. points awarded for: trying to save your girl, bitching out saber, fantasies about women who could go preying mantis on your ass. pump those numbers up, baby. i believe in you.
LOYALTY:A-. house and crate-trained. good puppy. waits for instructions, likes a leash, but shops his men on a beer budget (needs work). recommendation: stay obedient, it's sexy. (🐶 who's a good boy?)
PYROTECHNICS:A. hot. like, literally. still waiting for you to do the work of doubling as a tanning booth. would pay cash money to watch saber's dick melt into goo. you'd be doing feminism a favor.
⭐ GPA: D+ (graded on a cute curve)
TEACHER COMMENTS: listening skills are tragic and require significant improvement, but responds well to praise and threats. cooperative, excellent attendance, a pleasure to have in class. demonstrates consistent effort, even when the effort is his own death wish. behavioral issues (inability to shut the fuck up and save his own ass). see miss mikheeva after class for your next extra credit assignment 💋
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2/3
GRADES
⭐ GPA: D+ (graded on a cute curve)