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SALTBURNT AU (FOR JUNE).
ANORA MIKHEEVA
💋 SALTBURNT'S OWN MARILYN MONROE
- The entertainment who never left. The story goes like this: she was brought in to sing at a birthday party, barefoot on the ballroom's piano, red silk dress like a cherry stain against the keys. No one remembers whose birthday it was, only how her voice made everyone stop, listen, and weep. Now she's permanent fixture as the manor’s glamour girl, champagne glass in hand, heartbreak behind the eyes.
She's not exactly staff, or family — she's not even a proper guest anymore. She's kept, draped across sofas in silk robes and backless gowns, preserved like something beautiful and sad in amber. She's been married (and divorced) three times already despite being only 24 — her most recent to football darling FP Jones, a scandalous union that lasted ten months before it crashed and burn, just like the rest.
People call her the estate’s most public secret — all painted lips and mascara tears — always invited, never on the official guest list. She's always rumored to be someone's mistress, everyone's mistake, and no one's wife anymore.
BACKSTORY:
Before Saltburnt, she had a name on marquees.
A West End darling by eighteen, Ani was discovered in a Soho jazz bar by a retired producer who liked the way she sang sultry torch songs like they were tragic confessions. He elevated her until she was playing the doomed ingenue on London's stage, always dying by Act Two, while the world fell in love with her sadness. Audiences wept, critics swooned — and eventually, Hollywood called.
And, for a while, it was everything Ani had ever dreamed.
She was named the next big thing, put in cover shoots, perfume campaigns, cast in femme fatale roles as a silver screen siren. Her voice had rasp, her face had softness, and her body was a weapon. She wanted love, but she kept getting cast in tragedies.
The industry used her up fast. Said she was "difficult" when she cried too much, "unstable" when she wanted to be understood and held, "done" and tired by the time she turned twenty-four, a star that burned up bright — and too fast. A few high-profile breakups followed, then a leaked tape, then rehab rumors. For Ani, the heartbreak has always been louder than the applause.
A West End darling by eighteen, Ani was discovered in a Soho jazz bar by a retired producer who liked the way she sang sultry torch songs like they were tragic confessions. He elevated her until she was playing the doomed ingenue on London's stage, always dying by Act Two, while the world fell in love with her sadness. Audiences wept, critics swooned — and eventually, Hollywood called.
And, for a while, it was everything Ani had ever dreamed.
She was named the next big thing, put in cover shoots, perfume campaigns, cast in femme fatale roles as a silver screen siren. Her voice had rasp, her face had softness, and her body was a weapon. She wanted love, but she kept getting cast in tragedies.
The industry used her up fast. Said she was "difficult" when she cried too much, "unstable" when she wanted to be understood and held, "done" and tired by the time she turned twenty-four, a star that burned up bright — and too fast. A few high-profile breakups followed, then a leaked tape, then rehab rumors. For Ani, the heartbreak has always been louder than the applause.
RUMORS:
🦋 She makes extra money ‘reading fortunes’ in lingerie. It’s just her guessing how you’ll die, but sexy.
🦋 She got kicked out of BAFTA night for saying the Best Actress should’ve gone to her sex tape. After the leaked tape scandal, she hosted a ‘leaked tape’ viewing party where she live-commented on every frame.
🦋 Says she perfected her Russian just to insult people beautifully. Over brunch, she once told a guest, “Разговор с тобой как секс без лубриканта — долго, больно, и зачем вообще?”
🦋 Rumor has it she ghostwrites breakup texts for the wealthy. Her clients include at least two exes who swear by her ‘viciously poetic cruelty.’
🦋 Every time she gets sad, someone at Saltburnt proposes to her. She’s said yes five times, then ghosted.
🦋 She once asked someone to marry her during sex, then forgot by morning.
🦋 There’s a video of her and both Colchester boys. No one’s ever seen it, but everyone swears they have.
🦋 She keeps a gun in her garter. It's rhinestoned. Safety off.
🦋 She fakes being drunk so people will tell her secrets, then she sells them. She once made 40k in hush money after a New Year’s party. Someone’s senator uncle never came back to Saltburnt.
🦋 They say she calls Ash “Mr. President” when she’s drunk, and he calls her nothing at all. Someone swears they saw her in his lap during last year’s garden party, crying with her head on his chest while he smoked like it was nothing.
🦋 She faked her death last year for attention. Threw a party the day after her ‘funeral.’
🦋 She said she doesn’t sleep around. She just doesn’t like sleeping alone.
🦋 The only thing louder than Ani’s laugh at Saltburnt is the rumor mill whenever she walks into a room.
🦋 A writer claims she left teeth marks on the inside of his thigh and never gave him her name. He’s been trying to find her for two years.
🦋 She once sold a kiss for $10,000. Said the man overpaid. He disagreed.
🦋 Someone said she keeps her exes’ teeth in a Cartier box. She says that’s ‘a cruel exaggeration. It’s a Tiffany’s box.’
🦋 There’s a running joke that Jake’s the “official reason” Ani’s got a black book thicker than the manor’s guest list — each name a failed attempt to fill a void he left so big, it needs a spreadsheet. She keeps a locked drawer full of his old cologne bottles — says the scent’s the only thing that ever really smelled like love.
🦋 She’s rumored to keep a scrapbook of all the men who left her, complete with lipstick stains, tear stains, and receipts from expensive dinners she made them pay for.
🦋 She wears diamonds in the bath. Says she wants to look beautiful if she dies in it.
🦋 She once sobbed into FP Jones’ shoulder, swearing she’d never love again — then married him two months later. The marriage lasted 10 months. She allegedly married him during a blackout and said, “If I wake up married, I’ll just make it work.” It did not work.
🦋 Rumor has it Embry Moore paid for her rehab stay — not because he cared, but because he wanted her secrets locked up tight.
🦋 She once threw a crystal champagne flute at Embry Moore during a heated argument. It shattered on his jaw, and he still didn’t apologize. No one knows what the argument was over, only that they overheard her call him a ‘sad little prick in expensive shoes.’ He hasn't worn that brand since.
🦋 When asked about her multiple marriages, she said, ‘I’m collecting husbands like they’re vintage Chanel — worth it if you know how to resell.’
🦋 Jake refuses to call her his ex-wife — that’s how the rumor started among guests: maybe their divorce was never legally finalized? No one really knows for sure, but everyone knows Ani never stopped saying “I do” to the men who came after. Some say she keeps marrying new ones just to piss Jake off. Others think she’s still in love with him. Another guest joked Saltburnt is the only place someone can accidentally become polyamorous.
Her defense, when asked if the rumor’s true? “Who cares? Bigamy’s only a crime if you file taxes, anyway.”
🦋 She got kicked out of BAFTA night for saying the Best Actress should’ve gone to her sex tape. After the leaked tape scandal, she hosted a ‘leaked tape’ viewing party where she live-commented on every frame.
🦋 Says she perfected her Russian just to insult people beautifully. Over brunch, she once told a guest, “Разговор с тобой как секс без лубриканта — долго, больно, и зачем вообще?”
🦋 Rumor has it she ghostwrites breakup texts for the wealthy. Her clients include at least two exes who swear by her ‘viciously poetic cruelty.’
🦋 Every time she gets sad, someone at Saltburnt proposes to her. She’s said yes five times, then ghosted.
🦋 She once asked someone to marry her during sex, then forgot by morning.
🦋 There’s a video of her and both Colchester boys. No one’s ever seen it, but everyone swears they have.
🦋 She keeps a gun in her garter. It's rhinestoned. Safety off.
🦋 She fakes being drunk so people will tell her secrets, then she sells them. She once made 40k in hush money after a New Year’s party. Someone’s senator uncle never came back to Saltburnt.
🦋 They say she calls Ash “Mr. President” when she’s drunk, and he calls her nothing at all. Someone swears they saw her in his lap during last year’s garden party, crying with her head on his chest while he smoked like it was nothing.
🦋 She faked her death last year for attention. Threw a party the day after her ‘funeral.’
🦋 She said she doesn’t sleep around. She just doesn’t like sleeping alone.
🦋 The only thing louder than Ani’s laugh at Saltburnt is the rumor mill whenever she walks into a room.
🦋 A writer claims she left teeth marks on the inside of his thigh and never gave him her name. He’s been trying to find her for two years.
🦋 She once sold a kiss for $10,000. Said the man overpaid. He disagreed.
🦋 Someone said she keeps her exes’ teeth in a Cartier box. She says that’s ‘a cruel exaggeration. It’s a Tiffany’s box.’
🦋 There’s a running joke that Jake’s the “official reason” Ani’s got a black book thicker than the manor’s guest list — each name a failed attempt to fill a void he left so big, it needs a spreadsheet. She keeps a locked drawer full of his old cologne bottles — says the scent’s the only thing that ever really smelled like love.
🦋 She’s rumored to keep a scrapbook of all the men who left her, complete with lipstick stains, tear stains, and receipts from expensive dinners she made them pay for.
🦋 She wears diamonds in the bath. Says she wants to look beautiful if she dies in it.
🦋 She once sobbed into FP Jones’ shoulder, swearing she’d never love again — then married him two months later. The marriage lasted 10 months. She allegedly married him during a blackout and said, “If I wake up married, I’ll just make it work.” It did not work.
🦋 Rumor has it Embry Moore paid for her rehab stay — not because he cared, but because he wanted her secrets locked up tight.
🦋 She once threw a crystal champagne flute at Embry Moore during a heated argument. It shattered on his jaw, and he still didn’t apologize. No one knows what the argument was over, only that they overheard her call him a ‘sad little prick in expensive shoes.’ He hasn't worn that brand since.
🦋 When asked about her multiple marriages, she said, ‘I’m collecting husbands like they’re vintage Chanel — worth it if you know how to resell.’
🦋 Jake refuses to call her his ex-wife — that’s how the rumor started among guests: maybe their divorce was never legally finalized? No one really knows for sure, but everyone knows Ani never stopped saying “I do” to the men who came after. Some say she keeps marrying new ones just to piss Jake off. Others think she’s still in love with him. Another guest joked Saltburnt is the only place someone can accidentally become polyamorous.
Her defense, when asked if the rumor’s true? “Who cares? Bigamy’s only a crime if you file taxes, anyway.”
IMPORTANT CONNECTIONS:
ASH COLCHESTER — JFK to her Marilyn. Secretive affair, doomed.
DANNY JOHNSON — former step-kid #2, mommy attachment issues.
EMBRY MOORE — RFK to her Marilyn. Twice as doomed.
FP JONES — Ex-husband #3. Married fast, divorced just as quick. Volatile.
HENRY WRIGHT — week-long whirlwind fling; he proposed, she ghosted.
JAKE SERSIN — Ex-husband #1, the marriage that ruined her for all the rest. Rumor says she never recovered from the heartbreak.
JEM WALKER — former step-kid #1.
HOMELANDER ("JOHN SMITH") — former Hollywood PR relationship, considered the press' "golden couple".
RICHARD GECKO — fixer of her (constant) messes.
ROZA MOREAU — patron of Roza's performing arts; pays her to dance for her some nights, always cries.
SAM CARPENTER — former bodyguard, turned best friend.
SHADOWHEART — ex-fling.
DANNY JOHNSON — former step-kid #2, mommy attachment issues.
EMBRY MOORE — RFK to her Marilyn. Twice as doomed.
FP JONES — Ex-husband #3. Married fast, divorced just as quick. Volatile.
HENRY WRIGHT — week-long whirlwind fling; he proposed, she ghosted.
JAKE SERSIN — Ex-husband #1, the marriage that ruined her for all the rest. Rumor says she never recovered from the heartbreak.
JEM WALKER — former step-kid #1.
HOMELANDER ("JOHN SMITH") — former Hollywood PR relationship, considered the press' "golden couple".
RICHARD GECKO — fixer of her (constant) messes.
ROZA MOREAU — patron of Roza's performing arts; pays her to dance for her some nights, always cries.
SAM CARPENTER — former bodyguard, turned best friend.
SHADOWHEART — ex-fling.
OTHER NOTES:
🦋 Can apply a full face of glam in 8 minutes flat, blackout drunk, in the dark.
🦋 Excellent dancer — muscle memory from a life she doesn’t quite recall.
🦋 Excellent dancer — muscle memory from a life she doesn’t quite recall.
